We worked with Amy for the preparation and birth of our first child. We interviewed a couple of other doulas first and didn’t feel we “clicked” with either of them. That sense of comfort and connection with a doula was so important to us that we decided we’d rather do it alone than work with someone we didn’t connect with. A big part of that was that we are a lesbian couple, and while everyone’s birth is different, we wanted to work with someone who felt like part of our community. We are so lucky that we were finally introduced to Amy. Amy is such a warm person who is a queer mom herself, and we instantly felt emotionally safe with her and like we would like to welcome her into our very personal and private birth experience.
We originally decided to seek the help of a doula because the non-birth-parent of our family felt insecure in knowing how to coach her partner through the birth experience. We had heard labor could be short or stretch for multiple days, and the prospect of that was daunting for both of us. So we hope to have a little extra support on the day of the birth with things like getting in the best positions, helping with logistics and the like, and Amy ended up giving up so much more.
We met with Amy a few times before the birth and she gave us so much more support than we had anticipated. She gave us things to think about in creating our list of “birth wishes” (since “birth plans” rarely go according to plan), and helped us understand things we could do to try to avoid a C-Section, which was one of our biggest goals. Every step of the way, Amy provided a knowledgeable and above-and-beyond supportive presence. She sensed when to reach out and when to fade into the background. She never pushed her opinion into the mix unless we directly asked for it, but when we asked for it she shared her very great perspective.
In the birthing (and now we’ve learned, breastfeeding) culture out there, there are a lot of very strong opinions about what is best for babies. Amy was so non-judgmental, and made it very clear throughout our experience that she was there to help us achieve OUR goals. If we wanted to use pain medication, she would have supported that without question. In the end though, because we were so prepared for the birth and because of the way our birth went, we think a lot of that having to do with Amy’s support, pain medication ended up being unnecessary. Amy was unbelievably helpful and supportive, and we’re so glad she was such a significant part of our birth experience. Should we decide to have another child, we would definitely hope to work with her again. -Mere O.